


The Very Model of a Modern Major-General

by ChrissiHR



Category: Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, Thor - All Media Types, Winter Soldier (Comics)
Genre: 400 Follower Milestone, BAMF Darcy, Christmas With Family, Christmas with the Avengers, F/M, Gen, Light BDSM, Light Dom/sub, M/M, Meet the Family, Meeting the Parents, Military Background, Multi, Nude Modeling, POV Darcy Lewis, Polyamorous Characters, Polyamory, Restraints, Rope Bondage, SHIELD Agent Darcy Lewis, Steve has no idea what's going on, Tumblr Prompt, army brat Darcy Lewis
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-12
Updated: 2017-12-12
Packaged: 2019-02-13 17:54:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,882
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12989382
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChrissiHR/pseuds/ChrissiHR
Summary: Darcy can't get away for the holidays this year due to the demands of her position with New S.H.I.E.L.D.: the Strategic Human Intergalactic Enforcement and Logistics Directorate, of which Darcy is one of seven new departmental directors. Fortunately, her super soldier boyfriends are happy to help pull off a good old fashioned family Christmas—whatever that is—because Tony invited her whole family to the Upstate campus without her knowledge and they're about to arrive.One last spanner in the works: Darcy's mother doesn't exactly approve. Of anything.





	The Very Model of a Modern Major-General

**Author's Note:**

  * For [meleedamage](https://archiveofourown.org/users/meleedamage/gifts).



> 400 Follower Milestone Celebration Fic, written for @meleedamage, who prompted, wintershieldshock + “messy” 
> 
> Beta'd by @phoenix-173
> 
> Suggested listening: Christmas Eve and Other Stories by Trans-Siberian Orchestra
> 
> Story title is from “I Am the Very Model of a Modern Major-General” from Pirates of Penzance by Gilbert & Sullivan. [Click here](https://moviepilot.com/posts/3920638) to read more about Steve’s military rank, since I keep getting questions about why I promoted him in my fics.
> 
> (Darcy's dad is based on Saul Rubinek from Warehouse 13 and Eureka, if the visual is important to you. Darcy's mom is based on Meryl Streep because she makes the best disapproving face in The Devil Wears Prada.)

“Excited?” Steve asked Darcy, waiting by her side near the visitor entrance to the compound for her family to arrive for the holidays.

“Not even a little.” She stuffed her hands in her coat pockets and made an effort not to fidget. It wouldn’t help Steve’s nerves to see her pacing and rocking and wishing she were anywhere but here. Not that she wanted to be anywhere but the compound for the holidays. Steve and Bucky were here, and so was their ginormous super-soldier-sized bed with which she’d become well acquainted in recent months. If there were a way to move in together without giving up her square footage, she’d have been playing house with her boys months ago.

But she liked _her_ space and Bucky needed space, too, for the time being, so there’d been no rush.

Until now.

She was seriously rethinking her living arrangements, knowing she’d have to run a tricky gauntlet during her family’s visit between her own quarters in the short term condos near the labs and guest bungalows and Steve and Bucky’s townhouse in the long term housing promenade along the lakeside. She was slated to make the move to the lakeside complex in the spring anyway, but maybe Tony had something a little bigger available for the three of them… Yeah, she’d track him down later today to harry him for a solution to her need to sprawl.

There were a lot of things about Darcy her family didn’t know and she’d really rather keep it that way, but Tony got this idea in his head that they should have an old fashioned family Christmas this year with those who still had families—bring everyone together at the new Avengers campus as a kind of housewarming to make the new place feel like more than modern glass walls and chrome flash to its uneasy and occasionally unstable occupants.

So he invited her family.

Her _whole_ family. Mom and dad, brothers, even the family dogs with whom the general wouldn’t part in any case.

Yeah, she was Darcy the Army brat.

And so far, she’d never lived in one place long enough to have an old fashioned _anything_. She wished Bucky’s enthusiasm for the holidays was contagious, but all he’d managed to do in the week since Tony started pumping compulsory Christmas music into every corner of the compound was rope her into a cookie baking session, followed by some sex of the vanilla, but very satisfying variety a safe distance from Ye Olde Real Christmas Tree.

Then, she’d cornered Steve in his office, ordered him out of his uniform, and shouted her way to a trio of lovely orgasms right there on his December Veterans Affairs desk blotter with his head between her thighs where he belonged.

She had a sweet gig here at the Avengers campus, training her replacement as Jane’s PA and learning the ropes for her new position as Director of Inter-realm Political Affairs for Tony’s newly rebranded SHIELD: the Strategic Human Intergalactic Enforcement and Logistics Directorate. She traveled interdimensionally fourteen days out of every twenty-eight, shaking hands and kissing alien babies on behalf of the Avengers and Midgard, all in the name of inter-realm cooperation in the event of another galactic invasion or extinction level event capable of wiping the human race from its realm for good. She advised Asgard’s War and Trade Council on its cooperative agreements with Midgard and directed those who needed to know to the correct persons on Midgard to determine whether trade could be accomplished through a central trade market on Midgard as it was the most porous realm and, therefore, the best suited to host a great intergalactic marketplace for travelers from all ( _most_ ) realms.

Darcy loved the career and lifestyle she’d carved out for herself with the Avengers’ new non-profit agency for the protection of mankind.

And her family was coming to ruin it.

A United States Armed Services staff car rolled up sometime later, followed by two nondescript SUVs.

Darcy wished she could say it was a happy family reunion, but her brothers, Kent, Todd, Eddie, and Otter, all piled out with barely a word of greeting for their only sister—the middle and most disappointing child, if the General were forced to rank them in order from “Pride & Joy” to “should've eaten our young to strengthen the herd”, Darcy wouldn’t have even made a pleasant snack. Then, in a day sure to be full of many such indignities, Darcy lined up in birth order on the curb, standing at attention between her brothers (Steve fell in line a few seconds too late to earn the general’s approving nod), while the general’s dogs were let loose from the rear cargo area of a third SUV bringing up the rear of the convoy, outfitted especially for the general’s dogs. Mind you, as the only girl, Darcy never even had her own _bedroom_ , but the dogs got a custom-fitted SUV for their comfort, so that was nice.

Darcy gritted her teeth and waited.

Unfortunately, that's when Bucky chose to show up, twenty minutes late with Starbucks for just three. The general was not pleased.

Bucky fell in line and hissed at Steve as he looked down to check his gig line was straight, “You didn't tell me her _mother_ was General Lewis.”

“Do I look like I know what's going on here right now?” Steve muttered out of the corner of his mouth.

“General Lewis, it’s a real honor to meet you, ma’—”

“I'll speak to you in turn, soldier,” the general pointed at Bucky, but kept her eyes on Darcy.

Tempted though she was to slouch and tell the general to fuck off, Darcy stood at parade rest, comfortable in the position after years of punishments served up in the same stale position.

Really, her mother lacked originality. When Steve earned a punishment, Darcy used silky blue rope that made his fair skin flush such a pretty pink and tied him up in the loveliest packages until he dropped into that delicious headspace where he was _hers_ and she served his every precious whim and desire for the gift of his submission.

She shivered. Oh, yeah. She knew what she wanted to do after dinner later.

Her mother had no idea what she'd raised in Darcy Lewis, but that didn't prevent her from being disappointed in the perceived outcome all the same.

“Still babysitting the men in tights,” her mother drawled, eyeing the backside of the Avengers logo in the forecourt at Darcy’s back. “And frittering away the days playing the intergalactic version of spring break hop, to hear Colonel Rhodes tell it during his weekly briefings. Your brilliance, Darceline, wasting away here like a rotting limb, fetching coffee and playing house with these … action figures, when you know you could’ve damned well been one of the best strategic minds in a century. What do you have to say for yourself, soldier?” the general demanded.

“This is the part where Mom tells her to get her shit together and that it's not too late, and tries to recruit her to West Point. Again.” Otter whispered in Steve’s ear.

“Arthur!” The general snapped.

Otter straightened up in a hurry, eyes front.

Defiant and proud of her accomplishments, Darcy said simply, “It’s Director.”

“Excuse me?” The general looked down her nose at Darcy.

“I'm not a soldier.” She dropped her arms loosely at her sides and shook them out. “I'm the Director of Inter-realm Political Affairs for the new SHIELD: Strategic Human Intergalactic Enforcement and Logistics Directorate. _Directorate_ , General. I’m one of seven directors. I like what I do and I just signed a five-year contract to continue the work I do here.” She took a deep breath and blew it out. “And if you don't like it or can't see past it to care whether I'm happy, the problem is yours alone, Mother, but I'm done letting you try to make it mine.”

The general’s nostrils flared, but her gaze skittered to the side, landing on Steve and Bucky. She executed a perfect quarter turn on her heel and snatched the bungalow key off the stack Darcy left on the roof of the car before stalking off in retreat—in the direction of Guest Services with her labs trotting along perfectly in order as if wearing an invisible leash.

“That was tense.” Bucky blew out a sharp breath.

“I swear, if she could, the general would have me trained to trot along and heel just like those poor dogs,” Darcy growled.

“Like you’ve ever done what you were told a day in your life.” Kent rolled his eyes and pointed to two more bags for his brothers to grab.

“Well,” the older man who’d been lingering in the background said, rubbing his ink-stained hands together. “Darling D.” A soft smile and eyes full of love welcomed her home when he opened his arms and Darcy fell into them, ignoring the paint staining his front and the blob of two-day-old gesso over his ear.

She hugged him long and hard before letting go. “I’d like to introduce you to my boyfriends, Daddy. Major General Steve Rogers and Sergeant Major James Barnes.”

“Well, you never did anything halfway, did you, Darling D?” the man asked, amused. “Two of you. God, they'd look amazing in oils. With the right lighting….” The man pushed up his glasses and hurried off to find a scuffed duffel full of sketchbooks as a lock of dark salt & pepper hair fell into his eyes.

“Daddy’s an art teacher,” Darcy said, proud of him and the beautiful chaos he'd always shone a light on in her life.

“Mm…” the man nodded. “I'll do a study in pastels first,” he muttered to no one in particular.

Otter rolled his eyes and motioned to the others to start gathering up the rest of the bags.

“The nudes in oil, maybe. You don't mind modeling, do you?” Darcy’s father asked the hundred-year-old veterans.

Bucky blinked at Mr. Lewis like he'd spoken an alien language.

“Modeling?” Mr. Lewis prompted, his head popping up to check on his favorite new subjects. “Preferably nude. The three of you? Such classic features… You'd make a lovely study in couple dynamics in shade and light: a nude with the shield, of course, and maybe one in Darcy’s office, something that symbolizes her power in her everyday life and how it affects your relationship dynamic. They’d be more accurately polycule dynamics in shade and light, I suppose,” he nattered on, sketching ideas in his book and following Darcy’s brothers towards Guest Services as an amused Darcy trailed behind, followed by her bewildered ducklings, scratching their heads and trying to make sense of what they’d gotten themselves into for the holiday season.

“He really gonna paint us in the buff?” Bucky side-eyed his girl.

“Probably.” Darcy laughed. “Daddy finds clothing restricts the flow of his creative energy in the studio. Not to worry; we’ll get a heater.”

"Wait..." Bucky stumbled. "That mean your pop is gonna be naked, too?"

" _Clothing restricts the flow of his creative energy in the studio_ ," she repeated with a slow grin and a twinkle in her eye, turning and sprinting for the guest bungalows to wait for her family.


End file.
